Nightmare Scenario Ends in One Second

My neighbors walked over today, which is a big deal to us, since we don’t talk all that often and are barely even in earshot. They asked if we had seen the big “bull dog” running loose in our area. We simply said “no we haven’t is everything ok”? They began excitedly telling us how it had been pooping in their yard and when they tried to “shoo” him away he raised his hair, snarled, and began barking at them, as if to intimidate them, posturing in their direction.

My neighbor is not a lightweight when it comes to things of a violent nature, and I’m sure he was going to shoot some poor, scared Boxer or something, thinking it was a vicious Pit Bull or Bull Mastiff, gone crazy, rabid or what have you. I asked him if he still had his stun baton, a 500K volt model and a real showstopper? He said he did, but the “damn thing needs killed, before it tears someone up”. I mentioned that a BB gun with 3 or 4 pumps, discharged into the offending mutt’s arse, would be a far more humane solution than a .223 NATO round. He agreed that in theory I was right but “this thing’s a killer, and you’ll see”! I just patted my little Daisy air rifle, knowing that the sound of the pump – forestock is enough to send any of our neighborhood dogs careening wildly off of our property. I know this air rifle, my second, and how many pumps for how much distance, also taking into consideration, the coat thickness of the intruder trying drop a deuce in our yard up to 100 yds away. It’s just an extension of my mind at this point and it never fails to deliver just the right incentive to send the dogs packing.

So, we had coffee and chatted about politics, local weather, gas prices, just to name a few. After about an hour, they walked down the lane that leads to their lane, and finally just about out of sight, they disappeared inside. Well, about an hour later there’s two police cruisers in their driveway – one township and one county, with lights strobing madly. My wife and I then hurried up the lanes and into their yard, the husband was talking fast and gesturing wildly toward a farm further down the road. The county cops left and headed that way as we arrived.

It turned out that not an hour after getting home, the dog returned and had run madly on to their porch and bit one of a few cats lounging in the afternoon heat. “I was ready sir” our neighbor told the police officer, who wrote and listened stonefacedly to her tale. “As soon as I saw him coming up the driveway I knew there was going to be trouble, and when he bit little ‘Puddy’ (their dumb, fat cat’s name), I just reached out of the door and stunned him, then he ran off howling toward the apple orchard next door.”

I elbowed my neighbor and asked him if she hit him with the stun baton and he smiled and said “she hit him with a little more than that”. We walked inside the door and hanging on the door know was a brand spanking new stun gun, a 775K volt monster packing four 9 volt batteries to power it up. “The most powerful handheld stun gun on the planet,” he grinned. I asked him why she didn’t use the stun baton and it turned out that it was upstairs in the bed room and that he had only acquired this new stun gun the previous week. “It just happened to be there, he bit into that cat, and before I could blink she picked it up running for the porch while turning it on, and nailed him right in the back of the neck. I mean one second man, and that dog did a front summersault off the cat, pee’ed on the porch and ran off screeching in pain man, it was awesome!” A little risky being that close, but the old maternal instinct kicking in I suppose?

Well the dog was finally found, and a warden coaxed him with treats, then managed to noose him, and get him in the back of the truck. He was a runaway or lost, with no dog tag, but a handful even if only a mutt. He appeared to be mixed breed, brindle and probably a little Pit Bull or Boxer mixed in his gene pool. What a lovely day in the neighborhood, eh Mr. Rogers? At least the dog was taken away from our area for evaluation and even possible placement if he shows an even temper.

Beam Me Down and Out Scottie

I was cruising through the web looking for stun gun information and found a new RAY GUN which I will continue to research, that fires electromagnetic waves to stun and disable a “Perp”. The site that makes them even has a cool blurry video. It depicts a high speed pursuit (very poor quality, may be my PC?) which finally ends with the bad guy ditching his car and taking off running. The local cop pulls out his ray gun and zeros in on the running perp who is struck by the blue wavy lines emanating from his assault rifle zapper, and falls down (actually an excellent “break fall”). The “perp” is then shown being cuffed and tossed into the back of the cruiser. Awesome, I need one of those!

After closer inspection, the sleek little assault rifle looking “ray gun like” shocking device has a cool laser beam scope which immediately covers his head after falling, in case he needs further “shock treatment”. But, after reading about the product, it seems that the technology is only as small as a “carry on sized” suitcase. That’s a little too big for me, as I require a hard hitting stun gun for close work and for keeping distance, as in the case of a dog attack or a very small man or woman, fighting off much larger attackers, it’s in this interest that I’d recommend a 500K volt stun baton. These offer protection at a distance that should prevent grappling. They also have metal contact strips that will stun anyone who grabs the end of the baton, in an attempt to disarm you. Very sweet, and “non-lethal”, which has been the topic of great controversy regarding the Taser – not to be confused with a normal stun gun or stun baton.

This new stun device, which I will continue to cover in the next post, advertises: “a non-lethal weapon that uses ultraviolet laser beams to harmlessly immobilize people and animals at a distance. The Phaser-like device uses two beams of UV radiation to ionize paths in the air along which electrical current is conducted to and from the target. In effect, the beams create wires through the atmosphere wherever they are pointed.”

It sounds like a pretty cool idea / technology, but I’ll be looking into opposing views, and trying on my own to look past “benign advertising” and reporting if we have a more fearful weapon than the already ill-reputed Air Taser, presently favored by cops nationwide.

HP Customer Care (care less) A True Story!

Well the cheerful Indian “support escalation supervisor” contacted me about the newest twist in my broken printer woes. Having called support to pay $29 for troubleshooting tips to repair my broken down HP 882C printer, I am more confounded than ever. She couldn’t understand the trail of three separate cases assigned to my printer issues by her staff. When I called her, I explained that I had no ideas of buying a printer, only for repair tips. Her people said that they couldn’t fix my model anymore and that for my old printer plus $60 & $20 (shipping) they would send me a new one.

As I mentioned earlier the new HP printer arrived with a broken swivel on the “hinged” paper tray. I called to explain this defect, HP Support told me that this time they would send another one out, and that it would be a new one and not a refurb this time (thinking that would cheer me up?). I explained that they didn’t say it was going to be a refurb when they sold it to me, but a “new printer” which they did not send. I then cancelled my order altogether and asked them to send a “call tag” for UPS or FedEx to pick it up and also refund my money. The Rep. told me that would be fine since they were already shipping me a “new – new” one and they couldn’t undo the departure (a darn lie), and that I should use one set of call tags inside the box (that already left) for the new – refurb, and to refuse the new – new one after extracting the labels and re-taping the box closed.

Now all this sounded over the top to me, but I agreed. I then checked my order status the next day, and it said the order was cancelled and no replacement had shipped. So, I explained we were at square #1 again. She said her PC showed “call tags” issued a couple of times, but it’s been a week and they haven’t showed up. She told me that she must send me call tags for my old defective printer to be picked up and labels for my new – broken – refurb printer. I said “WHAT”? She then explained that with their printer replacement deal, I was required to turn in the old printer again.

Now this really steamed me up, since all previous records (by her opening statement) were impossible to unravel. I reminded her that I wasn’t in any exchange program, clicked on no links, and wasn’t even online when I ordered the replacement (”new” defective refurb, that arrived defective). I agreed to no “TOS”, or had anything read to me explaining that I was getting a refurb.. I said that IMO, they basically sold me a new printer on the phone and it arrived damaged/defective, and this should qualify me for a refund.

She did relent and agreed to refund my money from the first scam, but only if I sent my old printer back, since it was part of the exchange program. I didn’t get briefed on any programs/contractual agreements with the first contact, and any contract, would be null and void if they sent me a piece of crap (they did!) refurb printer (”new printer” – right!) “Next Day Air” and then charged me more than my local Staples store for the same printer new in the box, and with no hauling the broken one around as a replacement. She would not back down, so I agreed to send the old one back too and let the greedy s.o.b.’s have their crappy little broken printer and my old one too to save my $90.

Now I feel violated like someone has just shoved a high power stun baton up my arse and switched it on! Meanwhile, I have bought my “new – new – new” HP (I hate your service!!) DeskJet printer, from my local Staples for the same price, 30 days back to the store for refund – no questions, no returning of old printer, no B.S. pitches and extended wait times. HP has gone the way of all big companies – the bottom line is all that matters and the heck with “quality customer care”. Please boycott HP & Compaq until they finally see the light, and stop doing business like “fly by night” joints. That could possibly leverage them into adding some funds for hiring USA Reps., and treating their customers with a 1/2 measure of respect!

A Fifty Yard Mile

Jeannie is a 22 yr. old retail sales representative at a large chain store. She works in the fine jewelry dept. from 2:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m., five evenings per week. Jeannie is a sharp dresser and always looks like she’s ready for a date when she leaves for work each day. It is the nature of her job that she not be clad in blue denims, a T-shirt and sandals. She has to look sharp and dress the part, complete with necklaces and rings from the showcase to complete her ensemble. She’s the type of lady that causes heads to turn and men to get nudged stiffly by their wives as they stare at he walking up the long corridor that serves as an entry-way or exit depending on what side of the glass revolving doors you’re on.

She’s used to the attention she gets and handles it modestly and gracefully and is of the finest sort of young ladies. She wasn’t expecting a thing one weeknight as she left work, clocking out and looking forward to a shower, a snack and getting off her sore feet. Jeannie clocked out as usual and headed down that long corridor to the parking lot with two of her girlfriends. When they reached the sidewalk outside they all split up and headed for their cars. Employees were instructed to park in the furthest row of spaces, of course, to allow the parking lot as much room as possible for customer parking nearer to the store.

Jeannie was thinking about her commissions she’d earned that day and tabulating the amount mentally when loud laughter and sounds of glass cut through the still night air. Looking up she saw that a conversion van was parked next to her car with an empty space separating the two vehicles. She immediately counted two men talking and laughing very boisterously, gesturing wildly with bottles of beer in their hands. Then she noticed a set of legs hanging out of the van, which soon became a very large drunken man as the legs hit ground and a large body appeared from the side doors, attached to them. They all became silent as one of the intoxicated men pointed his beer bottle in her direction, which prompted them all to stare right through her. Jeannie had roughly 50 yards, maybe a bit less, to cover before she arrived at her car, and now right at her very car door were three drunken, unkempt hoodlum types waiting for her, staring at her, as they laughed with great pleasure and began making vulgar jokes about this fine young working woman.

“Shall I hazard this, or should I turn now, run back and beat on the exit door to arouse a security guard or others still inside”, she wondered? Jeannie recalled the “Women’s Self Defense” class she’d taken at the “Y” last winter and with her mind racing, recalling tips and tricks she had learned, decided to go for it.

The first thing she looked for and found was the personal alarm she had purchased with a strobing light and 130db alarm. She put that in her pocket and began fishing in her handbag for the Mace pepper spray with tear gas, that she had picked up along with the alarm, to round out her self defense package. The words “make sure you put these items in easy to locate spots on your person”, rang in her head as she grasped the canister of Mace. Palming the alarm in her left hand and shoving the Mace in her right side coat pocket, she walked to her car, all in a panic! She avoided their leering smiles and shut her mind off to the laughing as she whisked alongside her car door triggering the locks to open remotely. As she got into her car, she could hear the men loudly speaking to her, asking her if she wanted to party, and how they’d show her a real night on the town! She muttered “no thank you” and closed the door quickly when it suddenly jerked in midair! The man closest to her had reached over and caught the edge of her door as she was shutting it. Before she could think “oh my gosh what am I going to do now”, she simply raised the canister of Mace and aimed it “dead bang” right in the face of the hooligan that grabbed her door. Instantly, he released his grip, the door slammed shut and she locked it. Odd, that was too easy she thought?

No, it’s not really so odd, as weapons and deterrents of many types are highly recognizable by the criminal element and speak a language that is universally understood. If you don’t believe me, walk up to a stranger and brandish a 12 inch fighting knife. Don’t say a word and watch their eyes comprehend the language of razor sharp steel. Don’t try this, I’m just trying to make a point! Jeannie was lucky, her attackers weren’t 100% committed to assault her, and she was prepared. both mentally and with the physical “tools” to face a potentially dangerous threat. Jeannie is still employed at the same Mall and at the same store. She scans the lot like a hawk now before leaving and tries to park near her fellow employees whenever possible. She also claims that her short course on defense and deterrent devices were the key to surviving an assault. Good one J!