Special Sleep System!

I chose the title and headline for this post to resemble the words of late night pitchmen. These guys will be selling anything from a variety of beds, white noise devices, CDs with calming music, and “sleep formula xyz”. These formulas promise the user a safe, rejuvenating, night’s sleep and are generally some herb or chemical with sedative properties either alone or in combination with an existing OTC drug. All for a night’s sleep.

There are people who can’t sleep due to pressure and issues that these solutions just won’t work on. It’s very difficult to sleep if someone is say; stalking you, has threatened you with death or severe bodily harm, or just trying to sleep in a ground floor unit of a crime ridden area of town. For those who live in fear of impending violence, there is precious little peaceful sleep to go around.

I spoke to 3 young female college freshmen, and asked them what I should post about. 1. A self defense tip? 2. A self defense weapon to defend and possibly take down an attacker? 3. How about…and all three said “an alarm” as if in unison. For clarification I asked, “you mean something to let you know that someone is trying to get in – an alarm to let you know and give you a few seconds to phone “911″? “Yes”, was the same answer given by all three.

I told them about some very nice and affordable room and home alarms - ideal for dorms, apartments and condos. There are some nice portable room alarms, as well as the “fixed” variety. These operate from infrared technology, covering the room in invisible barriers. If one is broken, the alarm triggers and sounds. Hopefully the intruder will “grab his hat” and leave immediately, but if not, you should still have plenty of time to dial “911″. My favorite is the volumetric alarm which operates on air pressure – like a super sensitive barometer! I would go into it’s virtues right away but it’s a great product, and does so much for it’s small price tag, I want to do a post on this alarm by itself. It’s that good!

With one of these great room or home alarms in place, you’ll have to lay down in your room and let a family member trip it to know what you’ll be hearing if it is triggered. Even so, you’ll probably find out what it sounds like a couple of times until you get used to it being there – “oops false alarm.” With an affordable alarm system in place, there’s a lot less to worry about and more incentive to catch up on lost sleep. Buy one – you’ll thank yourself!

Simple and Effective Self Defense

I got a call from a female college student who’d been having problems with a former boyfriend. She was to the point of becoming fearful, as she had never been around such scary behavior – directed toward her, by a young man. I asked her to share a few details if she would, to assist me in helping her out. Her story is a common one, sharing many of the same highlights as so many others I’ve heard. That’s what bothers me.

I have a daughter who will be going to college and living in a big city (we have lived in a rural area since she was born). I have lived in cities and suburban developments with lots of neighbors and of course, when the population increases in a defined area – witnessing or being the victim of violence also increases. For many of our youngsters, going away to school is their first foray into Urban settings where there aren’t any – or damn few safety nets to fall back on. My daughter won’t be sleeping soundly upstairs while Daddy, with our Rottweiler curled up nearby, keep watch over her, for the first time in her life. That’s a worry alright!

Back on topic – the girl I spoke to explained that her ex-boyfriend partied everyday and when he drank too much alcohol became very belligerent, loud and disposed toward violent outbursts. Since they had split up, it seems that he hasn’t got the news yet – at least not when he’s out drinking. “He calls me when he’s been drinking a lot and threatens to kill me if I don’t go back with him, or to kill anyone if I want to date them!” She said this was happening 2 or 3 times a week and after almost a month of this – she was becoming fearful of answering her own phone or go out on a date, if she should want to at some point. I felt that she was just plain scared of this young man and was exhausted from the constant anticipation of his next appearance. She had originally called about a voice changing machine and maybe something she could use if he attacked her.

First, I recommended that she contact anyone on campus that is remotely related with this sort of thing. I shared with her that she should start with her Student Services Advisor and get a list of numbers that she could call for both help and support. I told her that if she was my daughter I’d recommend a restraining order against this guy, immediately too! I told her to get her cell phone out and add the local police station’s phone number into her speed dial program and perhaps the Sheriff Dept. as well for now. I told her that I felt that a voice changer wouldn’t deter this man since he knew where she lived, her circle of friends, places to find her and where/when her classes were held.

She asked if I thought that she should buy a stun gun. I told her NO – except as a backup, since I think what would serve her best would be a canister of Mace with pepper spray, tear gas and UV marking dye for easy identification by the police. That covers a lot of bases! I cautioned her that using the stun gun first (or alone) would bring her into grappling range with an attacker in order to use it effectively.

She agreed that she would like to try and deter this man from a safer distance first – with any of a selection of fine Mace defense spray combinations – then if he persisted she would have a better chance with the stun gun after giving him a few shots in the face. The pain and the effects on his vision, might just impair him enough for her to either run away and call help, or stun the bejeepers out of him first – then proceed to call for help. She did promise to get the restraining order if he acted nasty “one more time”. I haven’t heard back from her so I hope the threat of legal action threw a bucket of ice water on her friend’s fiery temper. In any case, now she’s equipped a little better than when we spoke, to deal with her alcoholic ex-boyfriend if “push-comes-to-shove”.

Bloggers Beware:

Recent incidents involving internet crimes against children have been prominent in the media. In some incidents, the crimes have involved suspects and victims who met each other on social networking or blogging sites such as MySpace, Friendster, Xanga, and Facebook.

Blogs and social networking sites where people can meet, communicate, and interact have recently exploded in popularity. The number of visitors to MySpace went from 4.9 million in 2005 to currently over 67 million. Like most new technological developments, this brings both positive and negative implications, especially for parents and their children.

Most of the activity on these sites is legal. Young people who are curious connect with friends and seek like-minded youths. However, many children and teens are not aware they are putting themselves in danger by giving out too much personal information and communicating with people they’ve only met online.

The sheer amount of personal information available on blogs and social networking sites makes them a perfect target for pedophiles to identify their victims and gain their trust. Trust can be used to lure children and teens into a false sense of security, making them feel enticement to meet in person, which could have serious consequences. Other dangers to include exposure to inappropriate content, and identity theft.

Children and teens aren’t often aware that their words – which they have intended for a small audience – sometimes find their way to a larger one, especially if they are controversial topics. Students who have posted threats against their school or classmates have attracted the attention of law enforcement officials. Those who have posted inappropriate comments about school personnel have also met with discipline. Some universities and employers have used online postings when considering potential candidates.

American Idol Judge Takes Multiple Shots!

Apparently, this happened a few months ago, but it’s news to me. I just heard that American Idol judge – Paula Abdul filed a police report some months back and claimed she had been battered at a private party that had taken place the previous weekend.

Police said in a statement yesterday: “according to Abdul, a man at the party argued with her, grabbed her by the arm and threw her against a wall. She said she had sustained a concussion and spinal injuries.” It wasn’t stated if she was simply “put against the wall” or if she was “whipped into it” similar to a Pro Wrestling “arm whip” into the turnbuckle. That would have to hurt!

Now in the US of A, “woman beating” can be a little “dicey” and even some pretty serious stuff, but in her case one can’t dismiss the possibility that Paula fell flat on her face from being sloshed, or went head over heels, down the stairwell or something. Her last vivid memory being the obnoxious person she was arguing with over a long forgotten topic of conversation.

We all wish Paula well and hope that no serious damage was done to her back or her head. We can’t tolerate anything happening to our American Idol panelists. I think that Simon better spring an extra 100K per year to get Paula, at least some minimal, personal security companion to “buffer” for her when she starts to party a little too strongly, or makes a poor selection in her “date” for the evening! Here’s “one for me – and one for my pal Paula!” I wonder if she parties with Keith Richards?

The Best Way to Avoid a Rapist!

I have been pondering and researching sporadically for a few weeks – reading a bit here and a bit there – in an attempt to find some “Expert Advice” that I could pass along to ladies who may find themselves in this situation some day. Statistics show that 1 in 5 women will be targeted by a rapist in their lifetime – so what’s your best approach if/when this chilling, unexpected, event occurs?

Sadly, I found no conclusive strategies (real ones). There are of course “online” self defense classes, “brick and mortar” self defense classes, as well as certified training in the use of a handgun. The online courses I’ve seen are just what you’re thinking “baloney”. They contain generic self defense tips and tricks that may work if say, I did them – but nobody is out to abuse me. In other words, you must be highly skilled in martial arts to use the techniques that are discussed. Trust me – I’ve instructed many women in my years as a Karate teacher, and very few – damn few at that, who would survive the attack of a determined rapist/assailant.

I have met some “street-wise” gals in my days who would fare much better at fending off a rapist than the woman who is untrained and clueless but “thinks” she has self defense skills. I’m referring to the ladies who are taught to seize the ideal moment and then mount a merciless attack on their assailant, leaving him disabled or running with his tail between his legs. Yes ladies, just deliver this “smashing blow with the palm of your hand into the attacker’s nose and drive it into his brain” – or “grab the rapist’s testicles – then crush them in your grip.” This will cause most attackers to lose all interest in sex!” I couldn’t agree more, looking at the majority of rapist’s psychological profiles, they will indeed forget about raping you and shift gears into the “killing you stage.”

I’m sorry to say that most of the research I conducted was utterly useless. I have read volumes of info, spanning about every train of thought on this topic and they are all HOGWASH (those who offer the generic advice)! For example a government resource detailed the psychological profiles of rapists – there are four main types BTW, from this understanding of the “type” of rapist you are facing (you’re all Dr.’s or Psych. Techs. right?) you can then choose the approach they deem most effective, for that “type” of rapist!

You’re not going to have the time and mental acuity (in most cases) to conduct a quick psychoanalysis of your attacker – select Escape Plan A, B, C or D – and then execute it flawlessly. It doesn’t work that way people.

My first recommendation to a “non-commando Black Belt level” lady would be to get a quality handgun, sign up for some shooting courses designed to certify you in the use of a handgun, and carry that – ONLY if you’re prepared to follow through with using it! If you’re not 110% sure about pulling the trigger, then forget that suggestion quickly – why give this creep a gun to use on you or some other victim, once he has disarmed you? My favorite and second choice would be a steel baton. A lightweight telescopic steel baton (that fits inside it’s own handle when closed) makes for a light and easy “carry” since they come with holsters that you can wear on your belt very comfortably.

Alas, most ladies won’t be talked into a steel baton however – must be a genetic thing – not sure? They always change the subject as I’m discussing the virtues of the baton and invariably end up with “what about pepper spray – do you have some good pepper spray – won’t that work?” I get this almost daily – working as a martial arts teacher and operating a self defense products store. I hear more than some priests in the confessional at times I’d wager – real horror stores of fear, abuse, desperation and hopelessness. It can be challenging because you can’t sell the same deterrent to all types of personalities and expect it to be a “catch all” self defense product.

Women (most!) just don’t want to hammer anyone’s skull into hambuger, or put a couple of neat red dots into anyone’s chest either, for that matter. Gotta watch those nails! But – I must concede that a good OC pepper spray will melt all thoughts of sexual predation out of a rapist’s mind for a good 20 – 30 minutes if you unload on him and catch him squarely in the face (eyes – mouth). I usually recommend that they purchase two canisters. One for learning to use the spray – it’s behavior and limitations (regarding distance, amount of sprays in the unit being used, how it holds up in a slight breeze etc.) and the other unit for self defense carry only!

Pepper spray, is on the one hand a very benign self defense product, but on the other hand, when used optimally, feels like a “Box Jellyfish” just made a crash landing into your face! It will certainly stop a man from obsessing about sexual attacks for long enough to beat a hasty retreat. All it takes is the opportunity to use it, then actually seizing that moment and using it properly and effectively. It’s by far the most popular self defense product we see women purchase at our Self Defense Products store. I sincerely hope that they will never need to use them!