You Have to Give Respect to Get It

A very haughty gentleman who later proclaimed that he was a genius and a Master of his particular style of Escrima, tried to have our company procure an extremely high voltage stun baton. We will call him Oswaldo “The Unmerciful”. Well, it turned out that Oswaldo had provided us with incorrect information that was required to make this happen, which put our company at risk. Upon telling him we could not proceed he became unglued and claimed that we stole his banking information and had withdrawn money and ripped him off. WHAT!! And so our story begins after I explained in an email and after a couple of replies I informed him that we had never or would never do such a thing – even if we were crooks, we wouldn’t jeopardize our “hustle” over a measly few bucks and not to worry that my explanation was correct and after many years of business to please control himself and “get a grip, I might be right”?. Then it didn’t take long and the name calling began.

When an internet order is placed the money is “authorized” or captured for that amount. This authorization is good for about 3 maybe 4 days. These funds become unavailable to you until such time as your order is shipped, cancelled or no action ever takes place. Every bank has their own way of displaying things – but this should show up as a “Temporary Charge” that is listed separately and doesn’t progress to the larger list of “actual” charges (when viewed on most online account summaries). Your order was cancelled and in a couple of business days that amount will disappear from your authorized charges and go back into your available funds. I hope this helps. Have a great day! – Best Regards, Ronin He was not slow to refute my explanation….

Oswaldo “The Unmerciful” Lashes Out:

Uh… Yeah… sure! Talk is cheap. Until my money is actually returned, you can call it “cancel” or anything you want, but it’s still FRAUD until I either get my money back or my product. So, until then, you and your company are on my fraud alert list.

If I do not have my funds back by the end of next week, I will contact my bank and tell them I’ve been victimized by internet fraud as well as contact authorities in your city informing that you are conducting business on the internet to defraud customers. If you are so concerned about “verifying” addresses or whatever it is you’re looking for, why don’t you do that BEFORE you take a customer’s money? Don’t you think that’s kind of shady? How would you like to have a merchant take your money FIRST then give you all kinds of double talk? Is that how they conduct business in your town? Oh yeah… by the way… that phone number I’ve been asking for you to give me? Don’t bother. I already have it – 123-555-1212 (listed on 175 pages of our catalog website – BTW – not hard to spot). I’ll be calling you by next Friday if I don’t have my money back.

Oswaldo “The Unmerciful” continues:

This, in response to a reassuring but assertive copy of the above email. Get a Grip? We’ll see, Mr. “expert”. And “yes”, I called my bank’s customer service today, and “no”, I still haven’t gotten my money back because your authorization hasn’t expired yet. They told me that you can “settle” anytime, so they can’t put my money back until your authorization actually expires. No matter what happens, you’ve managed to deprive me of my money for this length of time. (4 days start to finish) for the “temp. charge” to vanish – he was never charged. So, Mr. “Get a Grip” the next time you want to “verify” whatever it is you’re trying to “verify”, try *NOT* to take people’s money first! That would lend you better credibility. However, as of right now, I still haven’t gotten my money back, so Until then, you’re still a fraud artist!  (Ouch, that was a low blow dude!)

For kicks, upon questioning Oswaldo “The Unmerciful” if he got his money back he replied rudely (natch) that he did “finally”! And, if (after hearing his “modernization” plans) he was a famous “innovator” and “a Master” of his style of Escrima (stick, short sword, blade grabs etc.) to which he replied:

Yes. I’m also versed in Dan In******o’s style of JKD – Jeet Kune Do – as my relative knew him personally. This was independent of the whole Bruce Lee thing. That was the whole reason with my ordering a stun BATON, get it? Stun Baton = Escrima stick + electricity. I was attempting to modernize my martial arts. However, it appears as if I cannot do that with you!

He continues: “That’s the trouble with martial arts in modern society. It’s too fragmented… and the respect level has been dismal especially among martial artists. “Apparently, ego and money has replaced the traditional respect for established masters.” Ironically, I received the exact same model stun baton from one of your competitors the same day. Now I can modernize my escrima using stun batons!”

What the f**k?? I hope he practices some two stick drills like “Heaven and Earth” (covers the top, middle and lower parts of the body) that would be fun – smacking 800,000 volt PVC sticks together at high speeds – somebody will get hurt in Oswaldo’s experiment but that’s modernization for you? Apparently Oswaldo has made this quantum leap in thinking because he believes as a Master that he can use stun technology to modernize escrima while dropping names that are true experts in the arts to imply that he’s a real “player”. I think I’ll stick to rattan, live blades or a nice lightweight telescopic steel baton and leave the hi-tech modernization to Oswaldo.

An aside: Escrima stick + electricity = stun baton, eh? Sounds like bullshit to me. Its probably pretty safe to assume that this system, simply put, is a catalog of motions that result in someone being pummeled or hacked, with a long hand held object. So what’s the difference if you swing a stick, a short sword (or long knife for that matter), a flaming stick, a sharpened stick, a stick covered in peanut butter, or acid, or nuclear waste, or a stun baton? How has the system been modernized I wonder? I suppose you could make the case that the motions need to be adapted to most effectively bring the baton’s electrical tip to bear, and operate the trigger. BLOCK – THRUST – ZAP!

But something like this is probably Oswaldo’s stock-in-trade. He’ll change the system around a little, effectively “modernizing” it, but then the real work begins. Demonstrations at major tournaments on the East/West coast, articles submitted to all the martial arts mags, and a monumental manipulation of internet search engines. All heralding Oswaldo as “The man who modernized escrima” with titles like “Give your Escrima a Charge!” and “A Kata with Kilowatts!”. I think that “The Unmerciful” one saw the recent History Channel special on the Samurai roots of Star Wars and came up with this hair brained scheme. I should remember to remind Oswaldo, at great length, that this type of use will void his warranty. That should adequately stir him up!